Surrender
As I reflect on 2017, I can see that it was a year of cleansing and rebirth. It was a year of letting go... Letting go of old ideas and ways of life, letting go of an important friendship, letting go of rigid ideas about love (and of those whom I tried to force into that definition), and saying my last goodbye to my beloved boat, Haunani. There was a lot of pain involved with all of this letting go, but in the past few months, as I have come out of that, I can now truly say that I am grateful for all that I have lost. I am grateful for the things and people themselves, and for the growth they all brought. I have grieved deeply, but I am now starting to feel relief and am reveling the beauty and possibility that this space has opened up for me. In that space, I have grown new friendships, forged a deeper bond with my new beautiful boat, and have started to explore what love means to me now! I also turned 50, wrote a TedX talk (about my solo journey across the Pacific and how it taught me that I am enough), started singing again, finished my documentary about my trip, and had the incredible opportunity to travel and speak to groups of young girls about bravery and being true to ourselves. The more I open to all of these things, the more expansive the landscape of my life becomes. Possibilities loom large and creativity calls my name.
From the ashes of what came crashing down, the nuggets of truth emerged and taught me:
-That being brave sometimes means doing nothing and sitting still.
-That sometimes you have to lose comforts you took for granted in order to face yourself truly.
-The importance of trusting the quiet times.
-That my intuition is usually 100% correct.
-The deep significance of self-love.
-That true love with another doesn’t involve crumbs and craving, but rather comes with presence and generosity.
-That if you have to chase someone, and try to convince them of your worthiness, that they were never meant for you, and conversely, if you open your heart and allow that which you truly deserve, you will be healed.
I am grateful to everyone in my life, from the ones who have always handled me with care and love, to the ones who couldn’t (or wouldn’t) do that. Through all of my relationships and experiences, I have arrived here, into a beautiful, honest place filled with love, creativity and a growing sense of who I am and what I am here to do. The clarity and honesty of this place transcends any other epoch in my life.
SO here is to 2018! Here’s to more : truth telling, speaking out, heart opening, discernment, self-care, risk taking, making art of all kinds, spending time with tribe, loving deep and hard, sharing of hearts, trusting of intuition, spreading love at every turn and finally, remembering that what other people think is none of my business!
Happy 2018!!!!